It’s never what I am.

It took me a while to realize that I totally lost my blogging instinct. It has been time confusing trying to balance between what’s important in my life. Not to be blamed of the posting gabs between blogs but really last year it was a challenging ion all means.

If I say professional it might look very odd, but mostly (and emotionally) 2016 it was a mix of successes, failures and some tiny little growth.

Then after this quick review, I decided that I have a go back. Considering a successful 2016 and new start of 2017, then only blog I can think about is what I did differently to be successful.  

Why have I been so successful in reaching some of my goals, but not others? It turns out that even brilliant, highly accomplished people are pretty lousy when it comes to understanding why they succeed or fail. The intuitive answer — that we all are born predisposed to certain talents and lacking in others — is really just one small piece of the puzzle. In fact, successful people reach their goals not simply because of who they are, but more often because of what they do.

I always try to get specific. When I set to myself a goal, try to be as specific as possible. Losing some kilos is a better goal than “lose some weight,” because it gives me a clear idea of what success looks like. Knowing exactly what I want to achieve keeps me motivated until I get there. Also, think about the specific actions that need to be taken to reach any goal. Just promising you’ll “eat less” or “sleep more” is too vague — I have tried to be very clear and precise. “I’ll be in bed by 10pm on weeknights” leaves no room for doubt about what I need to do, and whether or not I’ve actually done it.

And with all the precising, I always seize the moment to act on my goals. Given how busy most of us are, and how many goals we are juggling at once, it’s not surprising that we routinely miss opportunities to act on a goal because we simply fail to notice them. Did you really have no time to work out today? No chance at any point to return that phone call? Achieving a goal means grabbing hold of these opportunities before they slip through.

To seize the moment, decide when and where I will take each action I want to take, in advance. And with this, I knew exactly how far I have left to go. Achieving any goal also requires honesty. If you don’t know how well you are doing, you can’t adjust your behaviour accordingly.

On another point, I always say to be myself to Be a realistic optimist. When I’m setting a goal, by all means engage in lots of positive thinking about how likely I can achieve it. Believing in my ability to succeed is enormously helpful for creating and sustaining my motivation. But whatever I do, I don’t underestimate how difficult it will be to reach my goal. Most of goals worth achieving, that I have tried with, require time, planning, effort, and persistence.

even when getting tired I focus on getting better, rather than being good. Believing I have the ability to reach any of my goals is important, but so is believing I can get the ability. Many of us believe that our intelligence, our personality, and our physical aptitudes are fixed — that no matter what we do, we won’t improve. As a result, we focus on goals that are all about proving ourselves, rather than developing and acquiring new skills.

I always focused on what I will do, not what I won’t do. Plan how I will replace bad habits with good ones, rather than focusing only on the bad habits themselves.

If you want to change your ways, ask yourself, what will I do instead? For example, if you are trying to gain control of your temper and stop flying off the handle, you might make a plan like “If I am starting to feel angry, then I will take three deep breaths to calm down.” By using deep breathing as a replacement for giving in to your anger, your bad habit will get worn away over time until it disappears completely.

It is my hope that, after blogging about the things that made me successful and that I did differently, I have gained some insight into all the things I have been doing right all along. Even more important, I hope I was able to identify the mistakes that have derailed me, and use that knowledge to my advantage from now on. Remember, I don’t need to become a different person to become a more successful one. It’s never what I am, but what I do.